I'm bawling my eyes out as I try to type this and get it out of my system before heading to bed.
There is a silent rapture happening within me-- I can't even attempt to hold on to any sort of comfort zones.
Everything is being stripped away from me that was once "normal" -- I feel like Eve & Adam realizing they were bare for the first time (so to speak).
There is great and wonderful comfort in knowing that with the guidance of two sets of spirital parents/mentors (as well as other Believers who agreed to fast and pray with me for a certain amount of time for me/with me).....that I know that I know that I KNOW I need to only continue doing what I've been doing.
Paul and Jesus on the waters. Paul stepping out of the boat. This is different. God is eye to eye with me-- no distance. He isn't wanting anyone or anything that has no right to be in my life to be in it...period... same with circumstances. He is wanting me to stay focused on the whites of his eyes. I can't even attempt to look down where I'm going. Not to my left, not to my right, not up, not down.... He is moving backwards and guiding me forwards as I follow in His steps. He is desiring and requring me to focus solely on Him through any and all circumstances.
No. You don't understand (reader). This has been the most intense and intimate time with Christ I have ever had in my entire life. I didn't think it was possible to sense God's presence in my life this much. BUT you know what?? WE ARE AS CLOSE TO GOD AS WE CHOOSE TO BE. Meditate on that for a while-- chew on it.
This is such an unusual time in my life. I'm truly thankful that I'm going through this right now instead of after I'm married and have the added responsibilities of being a wife, mother and other things.
Boy-oh-boy do I have a buttload of testimonies to share with the world. Watch out. Here I come.
Comments (2)
I got chills reading this. I hope you be able to expound on this a little more in days to come. I'd love to hear your testimonies!
take care,
Anne
I don't understand the specifics, but can certainly understand the emotion. Prayers as you go through this journey.